It haunts every night.

i wonder who knows this blog.
i dont even tell any-body.
and whatever i said, its totally true.
i dont know why, if im feeling shittyy nowadays.
and how the hell fir know my blog?
& who told him? i dont remember i tell anybody,
only this blog let me tell everything that i should.
i dont know who should i trust now!
i feel sooo hopeless.
he called me just now, saying hes gonna mit up wif shikin bal and mizi...
hope you take care there and i cant deny that i missed them.

i just cant understand myself.
ok, firstly about shikin:
i know i'm being bad wif her at times.
i agree to the saying that i hate something about her which is, when she ask the rest to club or drink lah...
who likes kan? i know im being conservative!im naive too!
damn! coz i dont drink and club. i know, sery kolot.
but i do likes her,
shes a nice girl though, we've known each other since 2003.
we were once close.
i cant deny that i dont like her at all. of course, i do.
cmon, i noe her first then the rest, like deebah, fiza, nana, and the others.
ok, i dont know why, this feeling is automatic,
whenever she ask fir out to club and drink, i dont like the idea.
im telling here all the truth.
but deep down, i still likes her, infact i dont hate people.
till i break wif fir, that ika delilah is the first person, that i hate, i dont know why,
seeing her face, make me go gagaagagaga!!!!and feel like punching her,
maybe because im scared she might steal him away? *stupid*sery is stupid*
im exaggerating right! damn again!stop it sery!=(

SHIKIN, if you happen to read this, i wana apologise for everything that i did to you,
maybe my words that i post it previously on 14th June hurt you. im sorry.
but what i said is yes, out of anger. im sorry for being two-faced to you.
please...forgive me... i know i called you bitch and all.
maybe i myself should be called two-headed snake!
i guess you hate me now. for my idiot attitude, or clearly just say childish,
you've always say, im a big girl now, i should know what im doing.
a big sigh here. im not being myself lately.i dont know how more to explain to you,
we should meet up and talk things out! ill msg you.

i dont blame you if you hate me now, im sorry again.
just for the fact:

NORMAL CONSERVATIVE GIRL LIKE ME,
should ask her to wake up! :)

deep down, i cant lie to myself and the whole world,
i do appreciate and still love you as my friend. :)
im not saying for making you feel better, but i mean it shikin.
and to whoever read this, this is real me.

Even if im a two-face person or whatsoever,
deep down, i dont hate that person fully.
maybe due to their perangai, or theres must be a reason.
giler kan kalau nak benci orang tu sembarangan.=)

imissyouall.
in random order:
fir.
mizi.
hadi.
nadia.
shikin.
iqbal.
dee.
fiza.
hafiz.
wati.
nana.
moksin.
**mostly raye people.
**all my gfs.

i wish you guys all the best.
thanks for the great memoirs.

=)